Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Zombie Insurance for Your Home

In many parts of the country it is necessary for homeowners to have disaster insurance of some form or another. For instance, in California you might purchase earthquake or fire insurance or in Florida you might opt for hurricane or flood insurance.  However, did you know that over 95% of American’s lack insurance from the most certain of all impending disasters? We aren’t talking tornadoes or meteor showers here, this is far worse, we are talking about a zombie apocalypse. 

The sad truth is that most people are woefully unprepared for such an event and when it does happen, only the well prepared will even have a chance of survival.  There are no guarantees of survival, but there are some steps you can take to help yourself out.

The best thing you can do is to have a safe house out in the country or somewhere remote.  Ideally up in the mountains or a in deep, secluded forest.  This will provide cover as well as easy access to firewood to keep your warm in the long winters. It should also be equipped with well water and fully stocked with supplies.  At first sign of the apocalypse you should escape to your safe house. Let’s be honest though taking out a second mortgage to buy a safe house is a luxury few can afford.  Let’s focus on your current home instead.

Think of your home as your castle, because once things get bad, it pretty much will be.  You need to be able to weather the siege of assailants who may come against you at any moment.  First, go to Home Depot or a lumberyard and purchase plywood, 2x4’s and nails. You will need to board up every window and door as much as you can.  Put all the heavy furniture you can in front of them as well. You will need to leave at least one emergence exit that you can get out of quickly but you need to keep it covered, lightly boarded and well hidden.

IF help arrives at all, which it probably won’t, but if it does it may take weeks to do so.   Therefore you need to stock up as much food, water and medicine you as you can.  Be sure to ration things out the best you can. Purchase fuel and store it as well.  Emergency wind up flashlights that do not require batteries are an excellent purchase as well.  If you have to leave in a hurry the fuel will be needed for your truck. 

I cannot express this enough, you need to turn one room into a panic room.  This should be somewhere defensible like a basement or second story room if possible.  Reinforce the walls and double barricade the windows and doors. Place most of you supplies in this room. If worse comes to worse, this is your last line of defense.

Finally, stock up on weapons and ammo, they will be your best friend. Generally speaking, shotguns and swords can make quick work out of zombies, but handguns, rifles and even chain saws can work. Whatever you can get your hands on, use it. It is important to have at least one quiet weapon that doesn’t need fuel or ammo , like an axe, since conservation and stealth will be your best way of staying alive.

Despite all of this your odds of surviving a zombie apocalypse are still pretty slim, but at least this will give you a chance. Which is more than most people will have.

Jeff Jordan lives, breathes, fights the undead and writes in sunny Southern California. He mainly writes about zombies. automobiles, mortgage refinancing and pop culture.  He would write about romance and dating but it shoud be obvious he knows nothing about it.

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