Thursday, December 22, 2011

Body Language Guide For the Festive Party Season

The Christmas and new year party season can be something of a minefield given the way copious amounts of alcohol can affect your judgment. After a couple of drinks things that – when sober – would be an obvious mistake start to seem like a good idea. Whilst you can just about get away with being sick on your shoes or photocopying your body parts at the office bash (although if you can avoid it that’s probably best), you are unlikely to live down poor chat up lines, failed come-ons, or going in for the snog when the object of your desire simply asked you to pass them a napkin. Because of these obvious pitfalls, it is a good idea to familiarize yourself with how to spot genuine signals by taking a look at this body language guide for the Christmas party season. 

The look

Rather than going at your festive flirtations like a bull in a China shop, take a step back and try and figure out whether this person actually likes you too. One of the easiest ways to do this is ‘the look,’ which really is as simple as it sounds: look at them. This will probably be across a crowded room full of drunken souls in party hats so there are obstacles, but catch their eye and see if they hold it. If they do, they might like you too. If there’s a smile – well that’s a green light! A word of warning: if you stand and stare for more than a few minutes then you are going to appear psycho-esque and anything you do after that is not likely to go down well. Keep ‘the look’ short and sweet.

Open or closed

Once you have managed to get within speaking distance of the girl or boy you are after then check to see how they respond to your chat. If they turn away then this is an obvious sign of disinterest. Folded arms and crossed legs are also an indication that maybe you’re not on to a winner here. On the other hand, if they lean in towards you, turn to fully face you, or uncross arms or legs when you start speaking to them this is a very good sign indeed.

When a woman is interested... 

You will probably find there is some hair tossing or twirling, drawing attention to a glossy mane, or a woman might smooth her skirt or trousers to draw the eye to a great pair of pins. Flared nostrils are an obvious sign of desire and lip licking is the same kind of indicator. Women also often part their lips slightly when someone they find attractive is speaking, and look out for dilated pupils as that spells one thing and one thing only: LUST.

When a man is interested…

The flared nostrils are an equally potent sign of interest in a man and this is a particularly strong signal as it is not something that can be easily controlled. If he keeps touching his hair or stroking down a tie, these are preening gestures that indicate he wants to look good for the person opposite. If you hold his attention whilst you are speaking and he raises his eyebrows ever so slightly during the conversation then apparently he finds you fascinating. Finally, if he’s sitting opposite you with legs akimbo (so to speak) then this is a pretty obvious gesture of openness and ‘welcome.’

Although Christmas parties can be hazardous if you get it wrong, there are plenty of ways to decipher whether the signals you’re getting from the object of your desire are good or bad. Stick to this body language guide for the Christmas party season and you should never again need to find yourself on the wrong end of a mulled wine martini.

John writes about body language for the Body Language Guide. Find out more about body language attraction in their latest video series.